Practicing Self-Awareness When You Are Emotionally Drained

Photo: Canva
Photo: Canva

By: Keisha Faulkner

Trust me, it happens to the best of us. Emotional stress can manifest out of nowhere, and dammit, you don’t even know why. So, you ask yourself, why have I been feeling so crazy lately? We’ve all had our moments, our days, our weeks, of just pure emotional chaos. It's like, “waking up on the wrong side of the bed” or feeling like, “life as I know it is over.” This feeling, which we can just call her “Debby Downer," also known as your subconscious, enjoys creeping into your mind and spirit at any given time. Why does Debby like to creep in randomly? According to, PsychCentral, stress, hormonal imbalances, lack of sleep, poor eating habits, and depression, are just a few contributing factors. 

“According to, PsychCentral, stress, hormonal imbalances, lack of sleep, poor eating habits, and depression, are just a few contributing factors. ”

— PsychCentral

Emotional melt downs happen. Science tells us why. So, what now? Do you bury yourself deep into your bedroom covers, eat 5 pounds of chocolate, and call your best-friend to complain about how miserable life is? NOPE. 

Next time you’re feeling an emotional hot-mess try practicing self-awareness by asking yourself these candid, yet, solution-oriented questions by reading: 

Everything is Awful and I’m Not Okay: questions to ask before giving up By Eponis @ Tumbler

Are you hydrated?  If not, have a glass of water.

Have you eaten in the past three hours?  If not, get some food — something with protein, not just simple carbs.  Perhaps some nuts or hummus?

Have you showered in the past day?  If not, take a shower right now.

If daytime: are you dressed?  If not, put on clean clothes that aren’t pajamas.  Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.

If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep?  Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes — no electronic screens allowed.  If you’re still awake after that, you can get up again; no pressure.

Have you stretched your legs in the past day?  If not, do so right now.  If you don’t have the spoons for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block, then keep walking as long as you please.  If the weather’s crap, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target) and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally skip.

Have you said something nice to someone in the past day?  Do so, whether online or in person.  Make it genuine; wait until you see something really wonderful about someone, and tell them about it.

Have you moved your body to music in the past day?  If not, do so — jog for the length of an EDM song at your favorite BPM, or just dance around the room for the length of an upbeat song.

Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?  If not, do so.  Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets.  Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them.

Do you feel ineffective?  Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an e-mail, loading up the dishwasher, or packing your gym bag for your next trip.  Good job!

Do you feel unattractive?  Take a goddamn selfie.  Your friends will remind you how great you look, and you’ll fight society’s restrictions on what beauty can look like.

Do you feel paralyzed by indecision?  Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day.  If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable.  Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.

Have you seen a therapist in the past few days?  If not, hang on until your next therapy visit and talk through things then.

Have you been over-exerting yourself lately — physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually?  That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment.

Have you changed any of your medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand?  That may be screwing with your head.  Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down.

Have you waited a week?  Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause.  It happens.  Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.

Photo: Canva
Photo: Canva

You’ve made it this far, and you will make it through.  You are stronger than you think.

Keisha Faulkner, THL Founder
Keisha Faulkner, THL Founder

Keisha is a New Jersey native and earned her undergraduate degree in Business Administration from Florida A&M University. She is a medical device sales professional by day and aspiring social entrepreneur by night. Keisha is a firm believer and advocate for providing health and wellness resources for under-served ethnic communities. 

“Wellness and self-care should not be considered a luxury, it should be a priority for anyone seeking a fuller, healthier and happier lifestyle.” - Keisha Faulkner